Bert

Dedicated to Brett.

He says the most ridiculous things sometimes. 

 Usually to my mom who doesn't find them as funny as I do.

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Mom:  You need to go feed Cooper (the dog).  You're not being very nice.

Brett:  You're not being very nice.  You're not feeding me.

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Brett came in wearing snowy boots.

Mom:  Take those boots off before you get my floor all dirty.

Brett:  You come take the boots off and make me a sandwich.

SILENCE

Brett:  (very hesitant) You could make me a sandwich if you want.

Yeah, maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty funny.

My mom actually did make him a sandwich. 

Brett later said:  See, I just know how to get Mom to do what I want.  A little bossiness with a little flattery at the end.

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Brett was a little gassy...imagine that...and blamed our dog Dasher.

Mom:  Quit that, you're being rude.

Brett:  Okay, I'll stop blaming Dasher.